puns

angryladies:

I went for a walk to go find/catch pokémon but the Pokémon Go servers were down!!!! So I just went for a walk in the sunshine on a summer day like some kind of idiot!!!!!! I feel bamboozled and tricked I did not leave my apartment for this 

(via giggle)

just-shower-thoughts:

My childhood punishments (going to bed early, not leaving the house, etc) have become goals as an adult.

(via yourlocalmemehoe)

zapidos:

My little brother and I were swimming and my dad walked out and said “it’s trash day tomorrow you know what that means” and my brother looked at me dead in the eyes and said “it’s time for you to go.”

(via arewetumbling)

luckydreaming:

mancomics:

luckydreaming:

Don’t post your negativity on a positive post.

Electrons

I should kick your ass. 

(via sadspaghetti)

snorlaxatives:

carlyclaw:

snorlaxatives:

it’s literally 2016 why did i just come across a buzzfeed video about snacks that “only 90s kids will recognize” like….. i watched the video and one of the snacks was literally a can of coke….. they poured a can of coke into a glass… 

But did you recognize it?

i……….. did…………

(via meqabitch-deactivated20200901)

4 word horror story

pajama-zam:

jontronshat:

imhangingwhataboutyou:

jontronshat:

“I heard my wife knock on the bathroom door, but then I remembered…. our bathroom doesn’t have a door”

I’m sorry, but the confusion of why your bathroom doesn’t have a door far outweighs any feelings of horror this might evoke.

can’t afford door.. the horror here is the realities of life

So what fuck was your wife knocking on

(via pajamazam)

ryuko:

when will i be someone’s cinnamon roll

(via firedrill)